My High Conflict Divorce is Affecting My Job
Learn what to do when your high conflict divorce is negatively impacting your work.
Many survivors experience stress when their high conflict divorce begins to negatively impact their work. Whether it’s the stress of the high conflict divorce, sabotage efforts by the narcissist, or time and energy requirements by your attorney or legal team that are infringing on work time, it’s very common for survivors to feel that their job is suffering due to a high conflict divorce.
It’s important to implement proactive steps to protect yourself so that your workplace is safe, secure, and supportive.
Communicating With Your Employer When Your Job is Affected by Your High Conflict Divorce
It may be advisable to let your employer or HR team know that you are experiencing a high conflict divorce and that it’s affecting your job performance. If your narcissistic ex is attempting to sabotage your job, it’s important to make sure that your employer/HR team understands the nature of what’s happening.
Some helpful tips for communicating with your employer/HR include:
Keeping all communication in writing;
Avoiding over-sharing;
Providing documentation of the narcissist’s sabotage attempts
Providing a calendar with court dates as far ahead of time as possible, and informing employer/HR that court dates are subject to change with little notice
Setting Boundaries is Essential When Your High Conflict Divorce is Affecting Your Job
One important step is setting boundaries when your job is affected by your high conflict divorce.
You can set boundaries around:
Checking messages from the narcissist (determine whether or not you will check or read messages during work, and if so, how often and when)
Whether or not you will answer calls from the narcissist while at work;
Whether or not you will answer calls or emails from your legal team while at work;
Talking to coworkers about the divorce, or determining that you will avoid the topic until after work hours
A high conflict divorce can be all-encompassing. It takes mental strength to honor our own boundaries, but can make the difference between being mentally present in a career and being distracted or unable to perform well.
Prioritize Your Self Care So You Can Be Present at Work
Every aspect of a survivor’s life is affected by narcissistic abuse - including work. It takes deliberate and intentional effort to practice radical self-care, which enables survivors to show up in healthy ways at work and in other areas of life.
A Certified High Conflict Divorce Coach can help you establish your daily self-care plan so that you have the mental and emotional stamina to keep showing up in all of your important roles in life. Find your coach here.
*** This is not intended to be legal advice but things that many others have found to be helpful. Please consult with an attorney who specializes in this topic.
