I’m Divorcing a Narcissist & They Cut Me Off From Our Bank Accounts - Help!

This is one dirty (but predictable) trick in the narcissist’s playbook. 

Just like the narcissistic abuser found ways to control and manipulate you financially during the marriage, they can’t help but try to do so post-separation.

Often, the most effective way they can exercise financial power and control over a victim post-separation, is to simply remove the victim’s ability to access finances.

They may do this by:

• Removing the victim’s access to shared bank accounts;

• Changing passwords to online accounts;

• Draining shared accounts;

• Selling and keeping the profits from shared assets;

• Delaying or refusing court-ordered child support or spousal maintenance

I’m Experiencing Post-Separation Financial Abuse - What Can I Do?

If you’re experiencing the frustration, fear, and stress of post-separation financial abuse, know that you’re not alone.

Unfortunately, this is a quick and sure way for an abuser to feel powerful. 

The first and most important step you can take is document everything.

Keep careful records of every action taken, and if you can, secure additional documentation from involved financial institutions.

Use Strategy to Secure Your Finances

When you have the right to financial safety and the abuser is doing all they can to destroy that, it can lead to immense feelings of powerlessness.

But it’s important to avoid speaking to the abuser about anything regarding finances. So as an example, rather than requesting access to a bank account from the abuser, let your attorney know what’s going on. If the abuser has stopped paying child support, file appropriate papers with the courts, rather than asking them to make the payments. If the abuser drained the accounts, consider hiring a court professional specializing in finances, such as a forensic accountant, to get involved.

Going to a third-party who can actually affect change is far more effective (and less traumatizing) than trying to reason with the abuser, who will only enjoy seeing you have to ask for money.

Certified High Conflict Divorce Coaches are familiar with financial abuse and can help you strategically navigate this complex and triggering situation. 

Find your Certified High Conflict Divorce Coach here.