Should I Hire a High Conflict Divorce Coach?
Answering these questions can help you determine if bringing a high conflict divorce coach (HCDC) onto your team will benefit you and your case.
If you’re experiencing a high conflict divorce or custody case, you may feel completely overwhelmed, confused, traumatized, or frustrated by the high conflict individual and the legal process.
If you’re wondering if a high conflict divorce coach could be helpful to you, here are four questions to ask yourself:
Am I feeling overwhelmed with the decision-making process?
Answer: High Conflict Divorce Coaches Support and Empower You Through the Many Decisions You Have to Make
The decisions range from choosing an attorney to determining a parenting time schedule to whether or not to request alimony, there are MANY decisions to be made in a divorce or child custody case. Decision paralysis is real - especially for folks in trauma. A HCDC is not an attorney so they cannot provide legal advice and they are not therapists so they cannot offer mental health advice but they play an integral role as a strategy partner on your team.
A High Conflict Divorce Coach can help you gain clarity, confidence, and peace as you gently and firmly move forward with your decisions.
2. Are you struggling to navigate the family court system?
Answer: Your High Conflict Divorce Coach Can Help Guide You Through the Family Court System
The legal labyrinth of the family court system can feel like a never-ending nightmare. High Conflict Divorce Coaches are specifically trained to help folks understand legal terminology, processes, and nuances. You don’t have to feel like you’re going at this blind any longer. Your attorney does not have time to hold your hand nor is that their job. Your therapist does not understand the harsh realities of the system but, your HCDC does.
3. Am I nervous or unsure of how to talk to my children about the divorce and/or custody case?
Answer: High Conflict Divorces Coaches Understand Post-Separation Abuse
One of the most difficult aspects of a high conflict divorce, for many parents, is navigating the tough waters of communication with their children regarding the divorce.
High Conflict Divorce Coaches understand the dynamics of post-separation abuse and can help you develop a plan for speaking with your children about what’s going on at an age-appropriate level. They can help you determine language, topics, and boundaries in what you say and do regarding the other parent, schedules, court, and court professionals. Statements like, "Mom and dad are working with a team of people to decide what is best for our family. While we may not agree with the rules or the schedule created, we have to follow the rules for our family.”
Having someone who understands what you’re going through, how it affects your children, and the very real fears around “doing it wrong” can alleviate fear and stress.
4. Do I feel frozen, stuck, or controlled by my emotions?
Answer: The key is a strategy-mindset
When trauma, overwhelm, and intense emotions guide our decision-making process, we can find ourselves in legal situations that ultimately harm us and our children.
Your High Conflict Divorce Coach can help you develop a strategy-mindset - using trauma-sensitive tools, you’ll learn how to process your emotions in a healthy way so that you’re able to use strategy when it comes to the divorce and custody battle, rather than highly charged emotions.
Everyone Needs Support - Especially Victims of Narcissistic Abuse
5. I don't know how to properly articulate the issues to my attorney.
Answer: a HCDC understands and can help prepare you to properly advocate for yourself
Your attorney is your voice and your advocate inside and outside of the court room. It is critical that your attorney understands your lived experience and that you are properly articulating these issues. A HCDC can help you with documentation that will showcase the history and the areas of focus. Your attorney is the driver and the copilot of your case so it is important that you are utilizing the same map and that the channels of communication are open and productive.
Everyone needs support at some time in their lives. I can’t think of a more deserving demographic than protective parents who are simply trying to keep their children safe and healthy. You deserve the support of a HCDC and you can find a High Conflict Divorce Coach here.
