Cynthia Montalbano: Divorce Coaching Inspires Rebirth, Resiliency, & New Life

Every month, we offer an inside look at the lives of two high-conflict divorce coaches (HCDCs). Whether you’re a prospective coach or client, we hope you’ll find inspiration and hope in each graduate’s story and personal reflections.

This week, meet Cynthia Montalbano: an accomplished graduate of the High Conflict Divorce Coach Certification Program (HCDCCP), and the second featured coach in our HCDC blog series.

As a certified HCDC, Cynthia specializes in narcissistic personality disorder, coercive control, post-separation abuse, and strategic communication. She offers both scheduled phone sessions and 24/7 email support to clients, as well as firsthand experience with the nuances of family court.

The Personal Becomes Professional

After graduating from the HCDCCP, Cynthia founded Lotus Consulting, LLC. She created her business with one goal in mind: to be the person she so desperately needed during her own high-conflict divorce and custody battle.

Seven years ago, Cynthia found herself in a similar position as many of her current clients. Through her divorce and subsequent custody battle, she witnessed a broken family court system – and she had no idea how to navigate its twists, turns, and blatant disregard for the rights of her child.

“I quickly learned that child safety and protection are not prioritized in this system,” Cynthia said, “and I knew that I needed to use my knowledge and experience to help others walking along a similar path.”

During the HCDCCP, Cynthia developed coaching skills to complement her personal wisdom, empathy, and knowledge of family courts. Since graduating as a divorce coach, she continues to learn new things about the complexity of divorce and abuse, despite having years of personal and now professional experience in the field.

“As a divorce coach, I have to tune into my intuition and listen to my gut when interacting with just about everyone,” Cynthia said of her work. “Toxic individuals come in all shapes, sizes and forms. My client’s exes span a wide array of careers and titles, and oftentimes the most dangerous people are the ones in very noble positions.”

Regardless of how someone presents themselves to the world, Cynthia said, they can still abuse – resulting in the patterns of abuse, manipulation, and narcissism that characterize high-conflict divorces.

With this reality in mind, Cynthia coaches her clients to watch for the red flags of abuse, establish firm boundaries, and advocate for themselves, their children, and other loved ones affected by abuse.

Blossoming Into Lotus Consulting, LLC

Cynthia takes an intentional, client-centered approach to all aspects of her coaching business. The name itself is an analogy for the human condition: even when its roots are in the dirtiest waters, the lotus produces the most beautiful flower.

Rooted in her personal experiences of resilience, Cynthia’s business has grown into a thriving vocation. One of her favorite parts about serving as a divorce coach, she said, is the privilege of guiding each client through a personal transformation. “When I start sessions with a client,” Cynthia reflected, “they are often a shell of their former self. The abuse has worn them down and left them in a constant state of helplessness and fear.”

But through a series of consulting sessions, Cynthia helps her clients navigate common dilemmas among survivors of high-conflict divorce, including healthy co-parenting and strategic documentation. With each session, Cynthia watches her clients regain the pieces of themselves they lost along the way. “Watching them heal is easily the best part of my job,” Cynthia said.

Even as a Coach, You’re Constantly Growing

While Cynthia expresses deep gratitude for her role as an HCDC, the work is not without its challenges. At the time of our interview, she had 60 clients on her caseload, “and every single one of them is on their own journey of divorcing an abusive partner and trying to protect their child or children from them,” she said.

Keeping track of her clients’ varied needs is a feat of organization – and without careful boundaries and self-care, it’s also emotionally draining. Constant exposure to child abuse and intimate partner violence “taxes you emotionally,” Cynthia said, “and if you don't take care of yourself mentally, you’ll crash and burn. You have to find the balance of helping your clients without taking on their emotions.”

To take care of herself, Cynthia quite literally “fills” her cup at Starbucks every morning. She is also a member of One Mom’s Battle, the Florida Protective Parents Association, and the National Safe Parents Organization: these organizations offer continuing education, as well as a sense of community with other parents and survivors of abuse.

Beyond her coaching sessions, regional advocacy work deepens Cynthia’s sense of purpose and solidarity with survivors. She successfully secured Family Court Awareness Month proclamations in both 2021 and 2022 in Orlando, Florida, and she is an aggressive champion for the implementation of Kayden’s Law in all 50 states.

Family Comes First

In addition to these communities and a daily dose of caffeine, Cynthia leans on her husband, Paul, for support and motivation. After her first marriage and custody battle, she never expected to remarry – but then she found Paul, who encouraged her to enroll in the HCDCC program.

While Cynthia’s business demands much of her time, it also grants her the flexibility to be present for her husband, two children, and Pomeranian. “I don't have to miss out on the field trips and the doctors’ appointments: I can be there for all of it and still have a rewarding career,” she said. She works hard to ensure her family’s home is always a place of comfort and unconditional love. “The world is a hard place,” she reflected, “and their home should never have to feel the same way.”

A Future Shaped by a Former Life

Reflecting on a younger version of herself, Cynthia recalls a time when she struggled with the desire to gain approval and acceptance from everyone. At the end of the day, universal approval isn’t possible – “and the most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself,” she concluded.

On a daily basis, Cynthia guides her clients toward this realization. Together, they develop goal plans and communication strategies that align with each client’s unique needs and hopes for the future.

As Cynthia looks forward to her own future, she doesn’t limit herself to a specific time frame for resolutions or goals – and she extends that grace to her clients. Whether she’s coaching, parenting, or simply existing, “there is always room for growth and improvement,” Cynthia said, “and I never want to be stagnant.”

For more information about Cynthia and Lotus Consulting, LLC, visit her website. In the meantime, stay tuned for our next featured HCDC! We’re excited to share the incredible stories and advocacy work of our graduates.