Annie Kenny, HCDC: Empowering Women to Reclaim Their Futures
Every month, we’re taking an inside look at the lives of two high-conflict divorce coaches (HCDCs). Whether you’re a prospective coach or client, we hope you’ll find inspiration and hope in each graduate’s story and personal reflections.
This week, meet Annie Kenny: a recent graduate of the High Conflict Divorce Coach Certification Program (HCDCCP), and the fifth featured coach in our HCDC blog series.
Annie is the founder of Bloom Consulting Solutions, LLC: an advocacy organization for children, victims, and individuals navigating the family court system. As a certified HCDC and Victim/ Child Safety Advocate, Annie guides her clients through divorce and assists survivors of domestic violence and their children.
Blooming From Her Past
During the HCDCCP, Annie gained professional tools to supplement her personal knowledge, Annie now shares her wisdom with a wide range of clients – but to develop this level of awareness, she first had to rebuild her own life.
“Five years ago, I was broken, feeling hopeless and lost,” said Annie. “My life had just shattered. My husband was a registered sex offender and convicted of abusing one daughter; but somehow, I was stuck in a cycle of having to coparent our other two daughters with him. Just surviving from day to day felt impossible.” Five years later, Annie says her greatest accomplishment is still being here, and with her kids still standing.
Coming from this past, Annie acknowledges that their personal struggles are ongoing, and that the road to healing from trauma is incredibly long and difficult. Still, she is grateful for “many things”: most simply, any moment of peace. “It could be five minutes or a whole afternoon: all moments of peace are beautiful, and I welcome them.”
Professionally, Annie expresses gratitude for her career as divorce coach, public speaker, soon-to-be-co-author, and advocate for women whose stories reflect her own.
Defining Advocacy
While Annie identifies as an advocate, the role itself is difficult to define. “I’m not sure how to really define advocacy, but I imagine it’s like getting out of the woods where you were lost and scared,” she described. “Instead of just being grateful that you’re out of the woods, you go back in and find someone and give them a piggyback ride out. And then you both go back in and lead or carry more: over and over and over again until you can’t find anyone else in the woods.”
As a divorce coach, Annie guides her clients through the woods with immense care and empathy. As someone who survived and thrived after high-conflict divorce, she is an astute and empathic guide; but simultaneously, she struggles to let go of her clients’ pain and anxiety, even after wrapping up the workday.
“I don’t want to do this work without caring, and I don’t want to only care from 9am to 5pm, Monday through Friday,” Annie acknowledged, “but I also realize that I have to find ways to take this pain off of my shoulders for periods of time. If I sink myself, I can’t be my best for my clients or my own family.”
Melding Personal Wisdom With Professional Tools
Annie is straightforward about the challenges of her client work, advocacy efforts, and even forming friendships after high-conflict divorce. Her honesty and vulnerability stem from hands-on experience, shaped by both struggle and success; but as a divorce coach, Annie also attributes much of her expertise to the HCDCCP.
For anyone considering the HCDCCP, Annie kept her advice simple: “Do it. Find a way. The time invested in this program is so worth it.”
Even if participants decide to take an alternate career path, Annie said, “the knowledge of how to survive your own case and coparenting struggles is invaluable.” She described the program as “a small gift of freedom, in a life where you never have felt free.”
Learning from Others – and About Herself
Annie continues to derive inspiration from the HCDCCP and other coaches who completed the course alongside her. While she graduated the program with a new skillset and level of awareness, the growth process started – and continues today – from inside herself.
Annie reflected on where she began her journey as a divorce coach, and where she finds herself now. Before starting Bloom Consulting, “I needed to gain some basic confidence in myself,” Annie admitted. “I don’t view myself as a natural-born leader. I can be incredibly hesitant and unsure of myself on the inside.”
Yet over time, and with ongoing support from her HCDCCP community, Annie gained a deeper understanding of herself – and, in turn, more certainty in her ability to solve problems and navigate difficult situations with clients. Other coaching skills are less tangible and take more time to develop: among them, the reality that not all clients are ready to be helped, or able to be helped.
“I’m not a good giver-upper,” Annie quipped; “I’m a fixer.” Yet in a family court system that defies both quick fixes and sweeping progress, she has learned to adapt and do what she can within the tight bounds placed on both coaches and clients.
Still, these constraints “can be incredibly difficult to accept,” Annie said. “I once had a client who was so focused on the wrongness of the system that they refused to play by the rules. But when you’re one-on-one, when someone’s children are at stake, and you’re in the middle of it? You can’t fight the system in those moments.”
Even in view of these barriers, Annie continues to fight as an advocate for legislative change. In 2022, she worked with a team to pass the Maryland Senate Bill SB17, a pivotal judicial training bill. Most recently, she created the Maryland Senate Bill SB57, which just passed this year. The bill – which Annie worked on for five legislative sessions – increases monitoring and penalties for offenders convicted of sexually abusing children in their care.
In addition to her client and legislative work, Annie serves as the board president of Family Court Awareness Month, collaborates with organizations like the National Safe Parents Organization and Custody Peace, and actively lobbies for the passage of Kayden’s Law in various states.
Yielding to the Future
Given her current momentum, future accomplishments are likely; but today, Annie is focused on where she stands now, with her children alongside her and a deeply meaningful career.
When asked where this career might take her next, Annie answered honestly: “I have no idea. Yet I know that somehow, there’s a purpose for this pain and suffering, and that I’m actually helping other protective parents and children. Five years ago, I couldn’t have imagined myself in the place I am today – so I don’t even try imagining where I’ll be in another five years. I don’t know. But I know I’ll keep on going.”
If anything, Annie knows her future will be informed by her driving goal: to reform the family court system. “I want this system to prioritize the safety of children,” Annie said, “and I want to shed so much light on child sexual abuse that it becomes impossible to ignore.”
It’s a world-changing, monumental goal; but even with all its weight, this is the work Annie feels called to pursue.
To learn more about Annie and her work, visit her website and pick up a copy of Stop the Silence, which she co-authored with Pamela Pine. In the meantime, stay tuned for our next featured HCDC later this month! We’re excited to share the incredible stories and advocacy work of our graduates.
