Why is My Narcissistic Ex Refusing Our Child’s Medical Care?
One of the most common ways that narcissistic individuals impose abusive, controlling behavior post separation, is by withholding medical consent/care.
Healthy parents want their children to feel good. To be physically healthy and to heal well from injuries. It’s a no-brainer.
So why is it SO DIFFICULT to work with a narcissistic “co-parent” when children are sick or hurt, chronically ill, or require ongoing healing modalities or therapies?
Narcissistic individuals withhold or deny medical consent and care in the following ways:
Non-communication, manipulation, and/or lies regarding medical coverage;
Ignoring and/or openly defying clear medical direction and guidance;
Refusing consent for necessary medical procedures;
“Forgetting” or refusing to give child(ren) necessary medication and/or therapies;
Denying the veracity and/or seriousness of real medical conditions or injuries;
Refusing to take children to the doctor during the parenting time for injuries or illnesses.
Why Do Narcissists Withhold Medical Care From Their Children?
To a loving parent, withholding medical care/consent is a cruel form of abuse. But to a narcissist, it simply makes sense because in their twisted thinking:
Narcissists need to be in control. If they know you (the safe parent) want something, even if that “something” is a basic necessity, like medical care for a child, their need for control dominates any level of common sense or empathy.
Medical care can be expensive, and narcissistic individuals will often sacrifice the wellbeing of their children in order to maintain the upper financial hand.
Image control is a basic tenant of a high conflict, narcissistic individual’s personality. When a child is sick or injured, the narcissist automatically thinks of how it will reflect on them. Rather than seeking medical intervention, they minimize or deny the injury or illness. If health insurance has been canceled due to non-payment, they will try to preserve their image by blatantly lying, denying the need for medical care, or gaslighting the child.
If you find yourself facing ongoing counter-parenting as the narcissistic individual refuses medical care for your child, consider enlisting the help of a High Conflict Divorce Coach.
