Strategic Communication on the Battlefield is a Lifesaver
One simple way you can help yourself on the battlefield is changing up your communication style.
If you’re in a high conflict divorce or custody battle, it’s essential that all of your communication with the high conflict individual is strategic rather than emotional.
Why? Because if a judge or other court professional reads your communication, you want to make sure that you’re presenting well.
Many times, victim-survivors believe that their messages are coming across in a way that a judge or magistrate would approve, but their messages are actually doing more harm than good.
Strategic Communication Versus Emotional Communication
On the battlefield, strategy is everything.
Family court professionals generally are of the mindset that a high conflict case is the result of two conflictual, immature adults who can’t get along.
Often, emotional communication supports that belief.
So, if you’re able to learn how to use strategic communication, you can help a judge see that you are NOT feeding into the high conflict dynamic.
How Can I Learn to Communicate Strategically?
Learning how to use strategic communication with the narcissist can feel like learning a new language - but with support and practice, you can absolutely do it!
Some tips include:
Writing for the judge rather than writing to your X. Yes, you will address each piece of communication to the X (Hi John, etc), but remember that you aren’t trying to convince, change, or express any feelings to your X. You are communicating facts and logistics in a warm, healthy, and concise way, omitting any and all emotional words or phrases.
Asking a friend to read over your message before sending it - that way, if your friend feels like the message is harsh, angry, or emotional, you can rewrite until the message is coming from a place of strategy.
Certified High Conflict Divorce Coaches have in-depth training on strategic communication and can help guide you as you learn this important skill.
