Divorcing a Narcissist Nearly Broke Me

Emotionally, yes, but let’s be clear. I was literally broke for a long time. Not a penny to my name, no access to bank accounts, drowning in debt - if you’re here, this is all-too familiar.

Narcissistic abusers are all about control, including financial control. For many survivors, this can correlate to years or even decades of financial insecurity, a loss of confidence in one’s ability to provide, and a loss of dignity due to financial scarcity.

I still remember seemingly endless seasons of overdrafting my account, eating the leftovers on my kids’ plates because there just wasn’t enough, and laying in bed at night, filled with anxiety wondering how I would pay for Christmas gifts.

If you know, you know. 

“Gradually, I realized that I was gaining an education of sorts.” 

Gradually, though, I realized that I was gaining an education of sorts. The more I was thrust into the legal labyrinth of the family court system, the more I understood legal language and local government. As I worked with court professionals and my ex-husband, I honestly think I cracked the code on hostage negotiation tactics. My organization and office skills are off the charts due to the years I spent documenting my ex’s abuse. Consulting with leading experts around the world on the realities and strategies involved in the family court process was an education that I couldn't find anywhere else.

But most of all, I felt a deep desire to use my skills to support others navigating the family court system. 

Have you felt a similar calling?

An “impetus for a fulfilling career” that allowed me to take my power back

Organically, I found myself pouring lemonade from the lemons I was gathering — I was a victim of severe financial abuse during my marriage and also, during my family court proceedings. I had given up my power and my independence and I recognized that it was time to take it back. The financial devastation is one of the most difficult parts of my story but, it was also the impetus for a fulfilling career that allowed me to reclaim my power. Working as a High Conflict Divorce Coach is a career that supports my family and I’m grateful beyond words to know how financial security feels, while basking in confidence and dignity. The biggest perk to my career is knowing that I am truly making a difference in the lives of others, and helping people to protect their children. Now, I am training others to do the work I've done for over a decade.

Apply to join the August 2024 High Conflict Divorce Coach cohort here.

Spaces are limited.